If you’re in my Facebook group which is a 16,000-strong community of like-minded business mums you may have read some posts that I wrote about finding a new house to live in and I was going to manifest moving into this cottage on a few acres that my old next door neighbour owned. The only problem was the cottage had been gutted during a reno and the owner still had a lot of work to do to get it habitual, but I was desperate to make it happen.
It was perfect, in my home suburb, near my kid’s schools, in a bush setting, it was my dream house to move into whilst I healed from the last few years and recovered from my separation. Me being me thought anything is possible and I pitched myself as an incredible tenant to the owner and sussed out whether he may be open to finishing it off, sort of, soon. He sort of was. But was also a little noncommittal and said to touch base with him in a few months, which was fine, as my house still needed to be sold so I had time up my sleeve.
So, I got to work manifesting the outcome I wanted, I even declared it in my Facebook group and was met with so much encouragement for the manifesting process. I believed without a doubt it was possible and I did all the manifesting things religiously. Finally, we sold our house and long story short the guy ended up telling me that he wouldn’t be able to get the cottage finished in time for me to move in. I was gutted, frustrated and annoyed,
It made me question manifesting altogether. I thought I had nailed it. I despaired over that for a few weeks but got to work on finding somewhere else to live and the first house I viewed, was perfect, I applied and got it straight away, the whole process was quick, easy and simple. The vibe of the house was perfect for what I needed and it had big sliding doors that opened out onto a tranquil rainforest/bush view from the lounge room and it just felt ‘right’
On my way to visit my Sharman for a reiki appointment, I was deep in thought about how everything played out, and as what usually happens before I see my Sharman, I had an epiphany. My epiphany was that I also manifested the house I did get, with the lounge doors opening up onto the bush setting and how it has such a healing, relaxing vibe. Although I didn’t quite realise I was manifesting it at the time. See, at the same time I was manifesting the cottage, I also had a manifestation of sitting in a lounge room where I was writing in my journal, feeling content and at peace which looked out onto a bush setting although, in my mind, this was more of my dream long term house. I realised though, as I unpicked what had happened, that this manifestation I did perfectly because I didn’t force it, it was simply a nice little daydream, that I allowed myself to feel into, and then I let it go and carried on with my day, there was part of me that was at complete peace and knowing that this would happen one day and I embodied that entirely and had no fear, deadlines or pressure to make it happen. Whereas the cottage, I forced myself to focus on it and admittedly I carried a lot of fear that it wouldn’t happen and, low and behold, this fear manifested into reality because of my subconscious belief it wouldn’t work out for me. I realised I had a very potent and insidious subconscious limiting belief that ‘things that I want, don’t happen for me’ and ‘I don’t get the things I really want’ and of course if I believe this on a deep conscious level, it is going to magnetise my reality. And, it did.
I can completely see now where I went wrong, and how I ended up where I am now. Which in actual fact, is also incredible for me and where I am at in my life right now. What I think is fascinating is that if we can learn how to harness the energy of manifesting we can literally create anything we want in our life, and I use every single day to not only help myself but also help my clients too with understanding this too. What I also learned was manifesting is actually backed by science. It isn’t just some woo-woo think-positive air fairy hippy thing, we can actually train the brain to become a magnet which is why when working with clients now we also look at any limiting beliefs they may have as these can absolutely impact how and if your business grows.
Just using positive thinking ain’t gonna cut it:
When it comes to manifesting those big dreams you have pinned to your vision board, positive thinking is a great place to start, but it’s really just the tip of the iceberg. To achieve amazing results we have to do the deep inner work until we are vibing at a frequency that aligns with those massive goals! Think about it, if we are stressed, miserable, unhealthy or resentful, do you think the universe is going to grant you a million-dollar business? No, you’ll be manifesting dull results at that same low frequency. Make sense? After all, if you don’t believe in yourself how do you expect your customers to believe in you enough to hand over money to you?
So how the heck do we raise our frequency to match these big goals? We need to reset and calm our nervous system. The picture we can envisage in our minds actually changes the biochemistry in our blood, which controls our behaviour and our genetics (check out Bruce Lipton’s work on epigenetics – the idea that how you see life is how your biology will respond). So, whatever picture we have in our minds, our brains translate complimentary chemistry to match that picture. We must go within and calm our nervous system so that we can visualise those dreams as a reality and wholeheartedly embody those feelings and emotions as if we have already arrived there! A stressed and scattered brain can’t visualise and embody these dreams and pretty much all the time in order to do this we need to clear our emotions and energy somatically, as it is not enough to just try and ‘think our way through it’
How to calm the farm to open up and expand into success:
The quality of your life will be directly aligned with your ability to regulate your nervous system because our nervous system informs our whole entire experience by dictating how we perceive others, our behaviours and the thoughts we have. So if I’ve had my twins crying at me there is a good chance I am in flight or fight which means I am going to be more stressed, rattled and my thoughts will be racing which means I won’t be operating at my best or making the smartest decisions for my business. Before doing anything my goal is always to regulate myself back into Ventral (which is basically calm and grounded) so my actions and thoughts match a grounded sense of being which helps me manifest a more positive experience.
You can work on maintaining Ventral by really simple and consistent small thoughts and actions throughout the day like gratitude, yoga, meditation, breathwork healing past trauma/s, movement, grounding, nature and other somatic healing modalities and it is all about finding what works for you in small and tolerable ways to build connection and trust in self through daily habits.
This is so important because if you are not regulated your system will not allow you to step forward into your manifestations because it thinks you are not safe, and it is simply trying to protect you. This is why so many people stay stuck, or cycle through patterns or just can’t figure out how to move forward even though they really want to, or they think they are doing all the right things. Actual physical signs this is happening can look like shutting down, freezing, feeling confused, going blank, avoiding, numbing, panicking and more. Once you start to move your nervous system into a more regulated state you’ll feel calmer, inspired, optimised, motivated and all the really good feelings and emotions we want to be creating a business from.
Reprogramming our subconscious beliefs to benefit us instead of hinder us:
As humans, we operate from the subconscious beliefs that were programmed in childhood 95% of the time. We are not even aware of the program as it’s below our consciousness. So we are only conscious 5% of the time! Our subconscious mind is stopping us from achieving our conscious desires because those desires are often worlds apart from that of our programmers – our parents, teachers etc. These limiting beliefs usually show up as ‘not worthy’, ‘not deserving’, ‘have to work hard for money’, ‘not loveable’ etc, which then play out in our personal lives, relationships and in business.
Our subconscious programming starts in utero (through our mother’s blood) and then continues to shape us through our family life and experiences up until we are seven. After seven it’s repetition and habits that build our program. What you have experienced, no matter how dysfunctional, is now your program. So we need to get to the root of it and change it! The really exciting thing is this is entirely possible through observing our thoughts and the stories we tell ourselves and then simply asking ‘is this true?’ We usually realise in this moment it is not true, and then we have the power to rewire the thought. A good example is the thought ‘I can’t do this?’ Is that really true? I bet if you scanned your life you would find many examples where you thought you couldn’t do something but were able to figure it out? Ummmm hello motherhood for example? You’ve kept a human alive! That’s pretty major. So when you catch yourself saying ‘I can’t do this’ flip and rewire that thought to ‘I will find a way’ or ‘I can do this’ or ask ‘how can I do this’ By thinking smarter thoughts and asking yourself smarter questions your whole entire perspective will start to shift and open up.
If you’d like to learn more about this topic I found these episodes fascinating because they explain how manifesting is actually backed by science in the research of epigenetics and neuroscience: